“Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act disrespectfully or unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked to anger, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, enduring all things.  Love never fails.“ –

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Kindness in Marriage

We always put our best foot forward at the start of the relationship. We learn how to maintain that pleasant demeanor during the courtship stage. You try to be on time during dates. You always put on the sweetest smile in the morning and when introduced to family or friends. Wouldn’t it be nice to keep this attitude during the marriage?

This verse from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 is probably one of the most popular and widely used verses in wedding vows. It defines what love is in one of the most beautiful ways. It gives hope that love is constant in every relationship. Relationships take a lot of work. According to Darlene Schach, “Marriages, like a garden, take time to grow. But the harvest is rich unto those who patiently and tenderly care for the ground.

As a Christian, how can you nurture and care for your garden? What are your roles in making your marriage work? How do you incorporate kindness into a long-lasting marriage?

How do you express kindness as a Christian Woman?

Expressing kindness in a relationship is different from a marriage. When you marry someone, you become one flesh and you share each day through hardships and tribulations. A strong marriage is the one built with Christ as a center or the foundation. Strong couples look up to Christ to give them strength each day.

As a Christian woman, you can choose to be kind when things get rough. Conflicts and arguments are unavoidable. Even if we are created into His likeness or image, humans are rational individuals. We have our unique opinions. These opinions clash even in marriage.

You can choose to respond respectfully rather than react violently. You can choose to pray when you feel hurt by your husband. Praying will allow you to process the feeling of hurt and anger towards your husband. Show kindness by still being a devoted wife through your actions. Household chores can help clear your mind during arguments. You’ve gone through the phases of anger, but let’s be realistic. The laundry will still be there and kids will still need a healthy and filling dinner.

How do you express kindness as a Christian Man?

No matter how much you try to avoid fights, some situations can happen anytime and lead to a big fight. Most of the time, it requires one partner to be wise enough to anticipate the fight and must sidestep it.

As a Christian man, you can learn how to practice kindness by learning how to calm down even when you want to explode. It can be through a quick walk around the block or reading over a verse and praying. Pray for guidance and enlightenment. Pray to recall all the good qualities of why you choose to marry your wife. Sometimes, we can only think of their bad side because we are in the heat of the moment. Realize that there’s always a

There are more than a hundred ways of expressing kindness to your wife. Discover the things or activities she likes and do them to appease her. You can choose to swallow your pride to resolve your conflict easily.

Different Languages of Love

Discovering our partner involves knowing their love languages:

• Physical Touch – You use body language and touch to express love like hugging or kissing.
• Words of Affirmation – You encourage, appreciate, and empathize with your spouse.
• Receiving Gifts – You give thoughtful gifts and do pleasant gestures to your spouse.
• Quality Time – You set a time to create special moments with your spouse.
• Acts of Service – You help your spouse with household chores or cook for them.

Once you have discovered your spouse’s love languages, it’s easier to express kindness and help resolve conflicts. Keep a list in your memory. If you are the forgetful type, put it in a journal or note it down.

Staying Calm During a Conflict

It’s easier said than done but one of the most effective ways of dealing with a conflict is by staying calm. There are breathing exercises you can try. Meditation keeps you in that rational state.

If you are having a hard time thinking about different ways to be kind, you can always choose to pray. Sometimes, things go on as planned or we don’t get what we expect soon. When things seem to be out of our control, prayer is our best weapon. Sometimes praying is the kindest thing you can do for your spouse.

For more insights on kindness or if you want to request for prayers on your marriage, contact the queen of kindness.